I ran into someone from high school on the shuttle last week. I almost didn’t say hello. I had already sat down in a different seat, but I waved anyway. She told me to come sit next to her and, suddenly, I was back in a version of my life I don’t live in anymore.
The questions started exactly how I expected, “Do you still hang out with them?” She meant the group of friends I had in high school: a core group of friends that, at 17, I always assumed would always be a part of my life.
I don’t know if I hesitated before answering. Maybe I did. There’s something about admitting you don’t talk to the same people anymore that feels uncomfortable, like you’re confessing to a failure. Like, there must have been drama, a fight or there is some kind of story. But there wasn’t. We just grew apart–different cities, schedules and priorities.
She looked shocked. Like, she really can’t believe we don’t really hang out anymore, and that I’m not really one of those people who does tons of stuff on the weekends. I felt a tiny bit embarrassed for some reason. Like, my life had somehow downgraded.
For a moment there, I thought I’d rather just be quiet and read my book instead. Maybe even jump off the bus. But here’s the truth: I don’t miss that version of my life. Not because it was terrible, and not because I’m more capable or better than anyone but because I’m different now.
College didn’t exactly make me louder. It made me more content with my surroundings. Now, my days consist of classes, work and home. My weekends typically consist of watching TV shows and movies, listening to music, reading and going to get coffee with my sister. We love going to the movie theater for a fun day. Life is peaceful, grounded and safe.
I don’t think it was her response that shocked me as much as the realization that we all assume that our high school friendships will remain the same. High school friendships can feel very permanent, and we assume they’ll always be there as we grow into adulthood, but growth doesn’t always move in groups.
You can change, you can grow up, become someone new. Someone who no longer fits into the life you built when you were 17 years old, that doesn’t make anyone the villain. It just means you’re growing.
