Hard, crunchy breading with a gelatinous filling, topped with icing and sometimes sprinkles, this craze of toaster-popped tarts has been on my mind throughout my life.
I don’t know what it is about them, but I’ve been having one almost every day, particularly the strawberry or blueberry. They’re classics and overall solid, iconic flavors.
Brown sugar’s another classic, but it doesn’t have the same substance as the other two. It lacks the crunch of the sprinkles and the coolness of the fruit filling. It’s not a bad flavor, but it owes points. It leaves a lot to be desired.
Cherry could fall into the category of classics, but it doesn’t feel as distinct as the others. It’s like a knockoff strawberry. And the sprinkles aren’t rainbow, so it’s not as visually appealing for me to want to pick up and eat.
That’s how I feel about wildberry as well, flavorwise. However, the purple and blue icing is nice to look at and is one of the most visually iconic flavors, but that’s all it is to me.
I used to be obsessed with the cookies and cream flavor, but after a while, it just becomes too much. Similar to the other chocolate-based flavors, hot fudge sundae and chocolate fudge, the chocolate just becomes too much.
It’s not easy to swallow unless you have a glass of milk on the side, and a good Pop-Tart shouldn’t need a secondary dish to make it decent.
When the Fantastic Four Pop-Tart came out, it was like my two worlds came crashing together. Strawberry Pop-Tart and my fifth favorite Marvel team.
They brought back the blue raspberry Pop-Tart with this collaboration, including smores and brown sugar cinnamon flavor.
Blue raspberry has always looked like a chemically toxic flavor to me, though. It’s too blue for a Pop-Tart. This wasn’t a revolutionary collaboration and it wasn’t its most creative, but I liked themed food too much to hate it.
I love their stupid little mascots, though. A lot. Their faces are so happy, and I love that they’re showcased in different flavors.
It made me so upset when the cookies-and-cream one was eaten at the Pop-Tarts Bowl. It makes you feel bad to see such a happy-looking food get eaten.
I have a love-hate relationship with personified food. It makes me want to eat it ’cause they’re so cute. It’s like when the Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares would be so horrified to be eaten in the commercials and then I would feel bad eating them.
That’s what I think of when I see a face on a food, but how could I hate such a fun Pop-Tart for making me not want to eat it?
My New Year’s resolution for 2027 is to try every Pop-Tart flavor that’s out, except the protein and extra stuffed ones; those are too much.
Pop-Tarts don’t need that many add-ins. They just need a good filling and a fun exterior. And, optionally, a theme to make me more happy.
