Draya Rios/THE RIDER
A performative male, through a quick Google search, is someone described as a man who feigns interests, beliefs and traits that he believes will attract women. For some, this persona is nothing more than an act, but for all of us lined up on the University Library courtyard on the Edinburg campus Thursday, this was our lifestyle.
Accounting junior Christopher Delgado hosted a Performative Male Contest at UTRGV with the grand prize for the winner being a Labubu-shaped 24k matcha Dubai chocolate bar. It would serve as the day’s MacGuffin, and be my cover for sneaking into this event as a contestant myself.
“The main reason I wanted to do this contest is just to get the community together,” Delgado said. “I would look at other schools [host contests] on TikTok, on Instagram, on YouTube, right, and I would see this kind of this union, and I wanted something similar for UTRGV.”
Walking into the scene, the first thing I noticed was the abundance of feminine energy with Beabadoobee’s “Real Man” playing in the background alongside tracks from other female artists.
As the contest started, all of us “men” lined up shoulder to shoulder, getting into character. The first round was simple enough: introduce our outfits and accessories. In the blazing heat, vinyls flashed in the sun, Labubus dangled from belts and bags, and jorts m ultiplied like they had been passed out at the door.
The different measures of preparation people took became more clear at this point. Civil engineering freshman Nicholas “K” Solis described being roped into the contest with friends and relied on instinct to carry him through the match.
“I heard rumors about [the contest], but I just showed up and I’m like, ‘Oh, it’s a commotion,’” Solis said. “Then, some people started giving me stuff and, then, they told me, ‘Hey, go sit by that tree and just keep reading.’”
Safe to say, Solis didn’t need to perform much to be a respectable opponent. He was a natural.
Draya Rios/THE RIDER
The second round raised the stakes. Each contestant had to describe a woman using just one word. From there, we moved on to a declaration of appreciation, naming our favorite woman in front of the crowd.
The audience decided our fates, voting on who would stay and who would be sent home. To my relief, I managed to make it through to the first round of eliminations thanks to the feminine hygiene products I thoughtfully carried on my person.
Seeing how the audience had appreciation for considerate men, nutrition freshman Andre Rubaldino took advantage of that fact. As he was initially voted off, he left the stage with a token to all the women out there: free tampons thrown left and right like glowsticks at a rave. This would be his saving grace, keeping him in the race and making him a bigger obstacle for me to overcome.
By then, though, the pressure was undeniable. I was beginning to question whether the Dubai chocolate was worth it.
The next round of questions began, and that’s when it hit me. I hadn’t prepared nearly enough for this. Delgado started asking rapid-fire questions about female music artists and, while I did have Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” vinyl tucked under my arm, my knowledge beyond that was embarrassingly surface-level.
At this stage, a vote couldn’t save you; anyone who lacked the right answers was immediately out. So, mustering up the last of my performative energy, I cut my own game short and bowed out, sacrificing my spot to the woman beside me (who also couldn’t name five Clairo songs).
The contestant numbers dwindled as the rounds continued. In its final moments, three contestants stood nonchalantly, awaiting their fate. In the end, only one could remain victorious, and by audience vote, Rubaldino took the title of Most Performative Male.
“It makes me feel accomplished that, you know, people actually acknowledge me as performative,” he said through bites of Dubai chocolate. “I put a little bit of performance into it, but a little bit was actually just really me.”
My final thoughts on the event: It was nerve wracking, but definitely something I would try again. Seeing the winner in all of his performative glory fueled a fire in me that won’t be extinguished until I can win a Labubu, too. 10 out of 10 stars, and I encourage other students to take a shot at any more contests like this that appear around campus in the future. Just be sure to carry a tampon on you for good performative luck.
Draya Rios/THE RIDER
About The Author
