Love that matters

Editor’s Note: In observance of Valentine’s Day, The Rider asked UTRGV faculty and staff to share the story of how they met their sweetheart. Reporter Nubia Reyna and Photographer Sarah Carvajal interviewed three couples who responded to our request.

Katherine Decker is an assistant professor of music at UTRGV. She plays and teaches the cello. Her husband, Adam Decker, a lecturer in the same department, plays and teaches the trumpet. They married on Aug. 10, 2013, after two years of dating.

Where did you meet each other?

Adam: “Grad school in Florida State University.”

How did you start dating?

Katherine: “It’s all about the beach for us, I guess. We knew each other for, what, two years? Two years before and our friends had thought we’d make a really good couple but I was very focused on school; I didn’t want to date. We, with 14 of our best friends, went to Saint George Island and hung out for a week at a beach house. By the end of the week, I had changed my mind. I thought he was a really nice guy, so fun to hang out with that it just kind of hit me, ‘Hey, I wanna date this guy.’”

Adam: “It was over the summer, which is important because when we were at school during the school year, we were both graduate students. We were both graduate assistants, so we were teaching for the university as well; there was no time.”

Where did he propose?

Adam: “Saint George Island in Florida.”

Katherine: “On the beach, under the stars. I didn’t expect it that evening. We were down for the celebration of my mother’s 68th birthday. His mom, my mom, my brother and the two of us rented a beach house for a weekend.”

Where did you go for your honeymoon?

Katherine: “Our honeymoon was going with nine of our best friends to Chicago for a three-day weekend, going insane and having fun. Great food, great company and a little bit of shopping.”

Adam: “Spent a bunch of money [on shopping].”

Katherine (laughing): “That’s what you’re supposed to do in your honeymoon, Babe.”

What is it like to work at the same place as your husband/wife?

Adam: “Well, we try and schedule things so that we’re not in the same space. I have a little, my own office, which is basically a closet that I can retreat into if I’m just doing work. But when we teach lessons, we do it here. We have to just be smart on how we schedule things. We kind of coordinate our schedules, so that makes it a little more challenging, but we get it done.”

Katherine: “The back story is that there’s not enough space in Eidman [Hall] for us to both have a separate office and since we’re married, they thought, ‘Oh, we’ll just put them in the same place!’ which doesn’t really work. So, we see each other all the time at home, we see each other all the time here. There’s no separate space, which can be hard because there’s literally no place for both of us to teach. So he’s right, we kind of flip schedules. So we have our own workdays. We say hi to each other in passing, but leave each other alone during the day.”

Which other cities have you visited together?

Adam: “Too many to list.”

Katherine: “We’ve traveled half of our country. … We get around a lot, we are musicians.”

The couple has lived in Georgia, Florida and Texas.

How many children do you have?

Katherine: “We have one. He is 2 years, 3 months [old]. His name is Edward but he goes by Eddie.”

Any pets?

Katherine: “We have a cat. We had a dog, but he passed [away], Mr. Conrad; he was a Hurricane Katrina rescue.”

Tulay Atesin, an assistant professor, and Abdurrahman Atesin, a lecturer II, work in the Chemistry Department at UTRGV.

Where did you meet each other?

Abdurrahman: “We met back in Turkey while I was doing my Ph.D. … She was finishing her undergraduate studies and starting her master’s … back in 2000.”

How did you start dating?

Tulay: “We were working together and I guess we became best friends and then I made fun of our situation in a fact that when people date, they go to movies, but we were ‘let’s go to the lab, and let’s do a reaction’ and that’s sort of like our date, enjoying the company and doing things together but we didn’t necessarily date in a common sense, but we pretty much did everything together.”

How did he propose?

Abdurrahman: “It was in Turkey. … We got our acceptances here in the United States and then we decided to make it official.”

Where did you go for your honeymoon?

Tulay: “We did not have one right away. … We took a Thanksgiving break for a week.”

Abdurrahman: “About a year after, we went to a cruise in the Caribbean. That was our official honeymoon.”

Which cities have you visited together?

Abdurrahman: “We have been in a couple of cities, the Chicago area; in Madison, Wis., and also in Whitewater, Wis.,” he said. “My hometown in Cyprus and her hometown in Turkey.”

Tulay: “Washington.”

How many children you have?

Tulay: “Just one, she is 10 and a half.”

Do you have any pets?

Abdurrahman: “We have a bunny.”

What is it like to work in the same place of your significant other?

Abdurrahman: “It’s definitely a different experience because we can help each other quite a bit.”

Bruce and Joan Reed are faculty members at UTRGV. Bruce is a professor in Rehabilitation Services and Counseling and Joan is a lecturer III in the University College.

Where did you meet each other?

Bruce: “We met in Colorado, we were co-workers.”

Joan: “We were working at a place for adults with developmental disabilities.”

Where did he propose?

Bruce: “We actually proposed at work, we proposed to each other. We were having a chaotic time at work.”

Joan: “We were on a shift. … It was a crazy day, the people we were looking after they were all going off and doing crazy things. One of them started pulling somebody’s hair, so we had to put him in his room and hold the door shut.  [Bruce] was holding someone in the hall and I was holding somebody else. We were standing, kinda waiting for them to calm down and we just said, ‘If we can deal with this, marriage is going to be easy and raising kids is going to be a piece of cake, so what do you say?’”

Where did you get married?

Bruce: “We got married in Glenwood Springs, Colo., Jan. 15, 1987.”

Joan: “[It is] like a spa town in Colorado. They have the natural spring coming out of the earth.”

Which cities have you visited together?

Bruce: “Oh, my, lots of cities. We have visited lots of countries, we have visited Rome and Florence, and Venice, and Italy, London, Scotland, Hawaii, Alaska, the Caribbean islands, and a lot of cities in the U.S.”

Joan: “[Florence], that’s probably our favorite city in Italy; it’s beautiful.”

What is it like to work in the same place of your significant other?

Bruce: “It’s wonderful to work at the same place, we understand each other’s jobs, we are both professors, we are both department chairs, and so we understand it. We can meet on campus for lunch or for coffee. Sometimes, we walk over to each other’s offices to say hi.”

Joan: “We’re both very focused and we both put a high priority on our work.”

Do you have any children?

Bruce: “We have two daughters. … Our oldest daughter is at grad school and the youngest has just returned to undergraduate school. Both of my daughters grew up being on campus, so it’s very natural for them being on campus.”

Anything else you would like to say about your relationship?

Joan: “He is my best friend. I love him very much.”